Slow Cooking and Other Shenanigans

So the beginning stages of my New Year’s Resolutions are underway. Last night I had my first successful slow-cooker Indian meal, Butter Chicken. It sounds unhealthy, anything with the word “butter” in it isn’t going to seem like the epitome of diet eating. But, there was a lot of veg, lean meat, and the butter actually wasn’t all that present. Just a little. It’s like when you put “sex” in the title of something or on a sign somewhere, your attention is immediately grabbed. But, unlike those all-too-often-disappointing sexcapades, this was a really good meal. I didn’t screw it up too badly, except that there has got to be a better way to incorporate “slightly crushed” cardamom pods. I bit into a piece of a pod, which is a lot like bendy bark, and my mouth filled with perfume. I couldn’t just spit it out, there was a lot of other stuff in my mouth, too. Good stuff. Chicken, onion, cilantro, and some delightful spices. But, I couldn’t hold it in my mouth anymore, either, lest I risk taking another solid hit of something very floral. So, I took a few deep breaths, swallowed, and hoped that the bark of the cardamom would be dissolved in my stomach. After that I fished for other pods in the bowl that was in front of me and in the slow-cooker so that future enjoyment wouldn’t be so intense.

I felt very…”in touch” with my food as I prepared it, too. I cleaned and cut up the chicken, chopped the veggies, and mortar and pesteled the living hell out of cloves and cardamom. It was good fun. Now I just have to get up the nerve to go to the rec. center on campus. I hate working out in front of people. I think I can safely say that, along with Bill Gates, gym class is a source for all the world’s ills. Bill Gates for different reasons, though. Hold on…

I just got one of those annoying calls from “Card Holder Services” saying that I could lower my interest rate. I’ve been getting those calls for, I’d say, about 6 months now. I’m sure many people have been, too, but there’s something about these wanks. Maybe it’s because it’s been years since I’ve gotten any of these types of calls and these a-holes are diving in now. Once I waited to talk to one of their customer service reps.

“Did you dial ‘1’ to hear more about how you can lower your interest rate?”

“No, I dialed ‘1’ to tell you to take me off whatever damn list you have.”

And, she promptly hung up. That’s fair, I guess. But, she didn’t follow my instructions. So, now, if they call again, I can tell them that if they don’t stop calling me I’ll throw them to whatever poor government stooge assigned this kind of crap. I just put my number on the “Do Not Call List” that the feds provide.

Anyway. Indian food is really good.


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